Official guides / Student support & services
Helping friends and family through a crisis
Monash University
Last checked: 25 Oct 2026 UTCWhat this page covers
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If someone you know has had a reaction to a crisis, there are several things you can do to help them.
Give them time and space
- Spend time with them
- Encourage them to talk about their feelings
- Listen carefully to them
- Be willing to say nothing and just be there for them
- Give them some private time
- Do your best to ensure they are safe
- Understand that they will have their own pace of coping and healing
- Don't take their anger or other feelings personally
What to say
- Remind them that their reactions are normal in the circumstances
- Don't assume one gender will handle things better than the other
- Don't tell them you know how they feel, because you don't
- Don't impose your explanation or judgement of the situation
- Remember that this is about their feelings, not yours
- Don't tell them they are lucky it wasn't worse
- Tell them you are sorry that this event happened and you want to understand and help them
Other support
- Offer to help with practical tasks like cleaning, cooking, minding children or pets
- Offer moral support if they have to attend any meetings or court hearings
- If their symptoms are severe or long-lasting, you might suggest that they see a doctor or a counsellor
- You might need counselling yourself to help you deal with the reactions of a loved one in a crisis situation